


When Your Tears Are Spent On Your Last Defense

by jesterlady



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Catharsis, Episode Related, Episode: s04e09 Lancelot du Lac, F/M, Fix-It, Magic, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 22:38:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesterlady/pseuds/jesterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin isn't satisfied with the end of 4x09, Lancelot Du Lac, and resolves to acquit his friends and reunite Arthur and Gwen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Your Tears Are Spent On Your Last Defense

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Some lines are from the show. The title is from a song by Marianas Trench.  
> A/N: I can't tell you how upset this episode made me. I was literally fuming for hours, muttering things under my breath, and snapping at my family. It pissed me off so badly. You can read about it below if you like.

Merlin wasn’t satisfied with the events of the night before. He was devastated, truth be told. His best friends and the people he cared about more than anything in the world were being torn apart by magic and hatred and he couldn’t understand how it had happened or what to do about it. It was his job, his destiny, to fix the evil done by magic and bring it back into the world, healthy and whole. But in this instance he was thwarted by lack of evidence, his own secret, and the fact that at least one of the people involved seemed to have performed their part without any magical influence. 

But he knew Gwen, he knew her, and this wasn’t something she would do. He’d watched her over the years, been privy to as many of her secrets as Morgana, and he knew how much she’d wanted to marry Arthur. He knew how hard it had been for her to keep their relationship a secret, to have to watch Arthur being made to court visiting princesses, to feel like the manner of her birth was denying her happiness. 

He also knew how much she had valued Lancelot, how guilty she had felt after his death, he’d felt the same guilt; but as soon as she and Arthur had become involved there had never been a single hint of indiscretion in either her or Lancelot. This entire situation didn’t make sense.

Merlin got off the steps and made for the door, determined to find out the truth. Gaius opened his mouth as Merlin walked past, but Merlin ignored him. He couldn’t stop now for any well-meant, but ultimately unwanted, advice.

Being the King’s servant did have some advantages because none of the guards stopped him when he brought Gwen some food in her cell. They unlocked the door and shut it behind him as he stepped in.

“Gwen,” he said softly, “I brought you some food.” She didn’t answer him. She was curled up in a ball, crying, her back toward him. He stepped closer, bending down, and put his hand on her shoulder. “Gwen, what happened?”

“You know what happened, Merlin!” she cried, shrinking away from him. “I betrayed Arthur.”

“No, Gwen, you wouldn’t do that. Lancelot wouldn’t do that. He’s- he’s not the same, so I have to think something happened to you as well.”

“Merlin, you’re kind,” she said, finally looking at him and he flinched from the pain in her eyes. “But you can’t fix this. What’s done is done.”

“Just tell me anyway,” Merlin said. “Just tell me why you agreed to meet him. Why you went into his tent after the joust?”

She looked at him as if confused, as if she didn’t know herself. 

“I-I don’t…I don’t know. I was so glad to see him back, but it never occurred to me to do this, to have this happen. I love Arthur.”

“Nobody knows that better than me,” he said, “so tell me why.”

She swallowed and took a deep breath and fully turned toward him.

“I don’t know. He came to see me. To wish me well, he said, and he was Lancelot, he did not appear to be anything other than the man I knew, and I was unaffected. I did not feel any of my old feelings. He gave me a bracelet and then left. I thought that was the end of it but when I went to the jousts it just seemed like the feelings returned. And then I had to meet him, but I left before anything happened, and yet I just needed him and then Arthur-“ she cut herself off, putting her hand to her mouth. “It was like a dream. He was so angry and he would’ve killed Lancelot and I just couldn’t bear that. To have that happen because of me. I had to stop it, but the look on Arthur’s face, oh, Merlin, what have I done?”

She dissolved into tears and Merlin gathered her in his arms and held her, trying to make sense of her story. There was something not right about it. Something bigger in Morgana’s scheme that she was doing and he couldn’t figure it out. But he would because if there was one thing that was obvious, it was that something had happened to Gwen to return her natural love of Lancelot to her. So he thought about it while Gwen cried in his arms and then something in Merlin’s brain clicked.

“Gwen, the bracelet Lancelot gave you, where is it?”

She sat up, rubbing at her eyes, and looked confused.

“I took it off. I couldn’t bear to wear it anymore,” she said and pointed. “It’s in that corner there.”

Merlin scrambled to the corner and picked up the thin circular piece of metal he found lying in it. The instant he touched it his magical senses went crazy. He was pretty sure Gaius would yell at him for doing it but he slipped it on his wrist just to make sure. All of his memories of Lancelot rose to the forefront of his mind and he remembered the bravery, the nobility, the friendship of the knight, and suddenly _he_ wanted to do everything he could for Lancelot, no matter the cost.

It was overwhelming, but not overpowering, and Merlin focused his attention for a minute or two and then took the bracelet off. The feelings disappeared immediately and Merlin looked at the bracelet in awe. It was a powerful enchantment, made all the more powerful for its delicacy.

“This is magic,” he said softly.

“What? How do you know?” Gwen asked.

He turned sharply and stared at her for a second.

“Uh, it’s obvious, isn’t it?”

“No,” she said, looking at him strangely.

“Well, considering what happened after you put it on it has to make the wearer want to please Lancelot.”

“But-“

“The King requires your presence,” said a guard from the door, gesturing to Gwen.

Merlin was relieved as he and Gwen looked up. He didn’t have time to explain and didn’t even think about what Arthur wanting Gwen to come to him might mean.

“Um, I’ll check and get back to you,” Merlin said, hurrying to the door.

“Merlin!” she said, sounding confused and a little angry.

“I will fix this, Gwen!” he called behind him.

He ran to his room but before he got there he was intercepted by Gwaine.

“Arthur’s passing his sentence,” Gwaine said. “I knew you’d want to be there.”

Merlin switched gears because he really did and how stupid did he have to be to not realize that was what Arthur was going to do when he summoned her. Though as much as he wanted to be there, he was pretty sure it was not going to be a pretty sentencing and he was anxious to get to work on his theory so that no matter what the sentence was he could fix it. He took up his place in the hall like the good servant he was but when Arthur entered and he was so quiet, Merlin knew he actually needed to be there at Arthur’s side. 

He’d been so focused on fixing the situation and figuring out what had happened that he'd forgotten how much Arthur had to be hurting. And looking at Arthur he could tell this was one of the worst. Merlin could put this time in, to be here for Arthur, to let him know he wasn’t alone. Above all else, Merlin was devoted to helping Arthur, even when he didn’t deserve it.

Except that Arthur ordered everyone to leave, including Agravaine, for which Merlin was grateful because Agravaine was the biggest thorn in his Arthur Protecting Side and he hated to think what the man’s poisonous advice would be on this occasion. If he could figure out a way to implicate Agravaine in Morgana’s crime, then he would. He’d seen Agravaine with the Shade with his own eyes after all.

He dragged Gaius with him to their rooms and burst out his story.

“Merlin, what are you talking about? Enchanted bracelets, how can you be sure?”

“Gaius, I felt it. The bracelet’s enchanted to make the wearer feel strongly towards Lancelot.”

“And how do you know this?”

“I…might have…put it on.”

“Merlin! Of all the irresponsible, foolish things to do! What if you had been caught in its magic? You’re not immune to enchantments, you know. May I remind you how easy it was for Morgana to make you try and kill Arthur! Were it not for Gwen and-“

“Exactly, Gaius, were it not for Gwen. I cannot ignore the fact that she is my friend and she is innocent. The important thing is this proves that Gwen didn’t do this of her own volition!”

“But how can you prove that to Arthur without revealing your own magic? You can hardly tell him you’ve got a feeling about it.”

“No,” Merlin said, pacing up and down. “But I can tell him what Gwen told me. And then…then, you can confirm it!”

“Me? Are you trying to get me clapped in the stocks now?”

“No, but you can say I brought it to you and then you found it in one of your books.”

“Merlin, you appear to be forgetting the fact that it isn’t in one of my books.”

“Ah, but you forget, Gaius,” Merlin said, slapping a book on the table, “I am an excellent forger.”

“That got you into trouble last time,” Gaius warned, raising his eyebrow. “Magic isn’t to be used as a cure-all for your problems. There are consequences to using your powers.”

“I know that,” Merlin said, pleading with him to understand. “I’ve grown so much since then, haven’t I? I’m not doing this for myself; I’m doing this to save a kingdom.”

“And your friends.”

“And my friends. Don’t tell me this isn’t worth the risk,” Merlin said. “This is Arthur and Gwen we’re talking about. Besides, magic has already been used, Morgana’s magic, and if using my magic will counteract hers, I’m pretty sure that makes it okay.”

“That’s dangerous and arrogant thinking,” Gaius said, his eyebrow rising higher than ever. “Don’t let your personal feelings about this cloud your judgment. I don’t want this to happen any more than you do, but you must think.”

Merlin stopped moving and stood still, clenching the table, forcing himself to remain calm and not be overly emotional just as Gaius asked him to do. There was a moment of silence while he collected his thoughts and then spoke much more rationally. 

“I have thought, Gaius, I do think. This is part of my destiny, to protect Arthur and to promote the best for Camelot. You know Gwen is that best. Don’t ask me to stand by and do nothing because I can’t.”

Gaius looked at him for a moment or two and then sighed.

“What do you want me to do?”

Merlin sighed in relief and smiled broadly.

“Just back me up to Arthur.”

“Well, you’d best get to it.”

“No,” Merlin said, standing straight and trying to think, “I can’t yet. That will save Gwen, but it won’t save Lancelot.”

“Merlin, that isn’t Lancelot.”

“You and I know that, but no one else does. How could I do that to him? How could I let the man who died for me be thought of as evil and branded as dishonorable? No, he kept my secret and he was noble to the last breath and his honor is at stake. We have to prove that’s not really him.”

“Merlin, sometimes I think you’ve got more of a stubborn code than the King,” Gaius said, looking at him, exasperated. “But you’re right.”

“You know I like it when people say those words to me,” Merlin said, cocking his head, flashing Gaius a smile. 

“Yes, well, I wouldn’t get used to it if I were you,” Gaius told him. “Tell me, what’s your genius plan to save Lancelot?”

“Do you know anything about how to gain control over a Shade?”

Gaius thought for a moment, then turned and rummaged through one of the books they’d both been studying earlier.

“The only thing I can think…the text made mention of exposing the Shade to his true self.” Gaius stopped on a particular page. “Ah yes, ‘the Shade can only become truly alive again when it is exposed to its true self.’ I gather…teaching it love and giving it memories. I’m not sure how that would work. Almost certainly it would require you using your magic.”

“I’ll take it,” Merlin said. “I’m going to go and see Lancelot, you stay here and read up on Shades. We have to convince everyone he is one and come up with a good story for the bracelet.”

“Be careful, Merlin,” Gaius said.

“I always am,” Merlin said cheekily and ran for the dungeons. 

He ducked behind a doorway when he saw Agravaine leaving the cells and quickly changed tactics. Agravaine was knee deep in everything Morgana was doing and he knew that no matter what he said to Arthur, Agravaine would somehow twist it and keep Arthur from believing him. Merlin couldn’t quite ignore the stab of hurt he felt over that. Arthur may be the best King Camelot had ever had, but he was still stuck in the past in matters of rank when it came to Merlin, though Merlin had been loyal and consistently right in his advice over the last six years. Still, Merlin supposed he played his part in keeping Arthur from taking him seriously, both by playing the fool and not revealing his true identity.

But that was a problem for another day. Merlin could feel the time of his revealing his magic bearing down on him. But it was not this day. This was a day to save from the shadows once more. 

Merlin trailed after Agravaine until he saw him safely to the stables and galloping out of Camelot. Merlin would bet Arthur’s favorite sword that Agravaine was on his way to inform Morgana of what had happened. He thanked his lucky stars and hurried back to the dungeons.

This time the guards were more reluctant to let him through but he made up something about Arthur’s orders and hoped that wouldn’t come back to haunt him.

As he entered the cell Lancelot was in the process of lowering a letter into his mouth.

Merlin threw up his hand without even making sure the guards were completely gone and stopped Lancelot in mid-motion, freezing him in place. He crossed the room quickly and snatched away the letter. Scanning the contents which ordered Lancelot to kill himself by ingesting the poison in the seal of the letter, Merlin shuddered to think how close he’d been to being too late and how quickly Morgana disposed of evidence.

The Shade of Lancelot threw off Merlin’s magic as he had before and stepped toward him menacingly. 

“You’re not Lancelot,” Merlin said, circling him warily.

“What makes you say that?”

“Lancelot is noble and good. What you’ve done is neither.”

“That’s a narrow view of the world you have there.”

“Lancelot wouldn’t think so.”

“Well, we’re at an impasse then.”

“Except you haven’t got what Lancelot had.”

“And what is that?”

“My friendship and my secrets,” Merlin said and ran forward, clasping his hands to the Shade’s head.

He had no idea what he was doing, but he had to try. He was going to have to hope his destiny and powers were stronger than his inexperience.

He concentrated. He concentrated as hard as he could on who he knew Lancelot to be. On the experiences they’d shared, on their friendship, on their confidences, on their adventures. He put forth his image of Lancelot’s nobility, his sense of morality, his self-sacrificial tendencies, his true love for Gwen, his fidelity to Arthur, his sense of honor, his pride in being a knight, his need to better himself. Merlin thrust his magic into every thought, every memory, every feeling, and hoped with all his being that it would be enough, that it could recall the real Lancelot.

As he connected to the Shade Merlin could see the black tendrils of memory that wound through his head, placed there, he guessed, by Morgana’s magic, and he shied away from contact, thinking instead to overwhelm those trigger points with his own memories of Lancelot.

Merlin felt his knees buckle as he poured so much of his own magic into the spell, but he held on as long as he could until he felt the Shade himself fall. He fell with him and when the haze of effort cleared from Merlin’s gaze he knew that he was looking at the true Lancelot.

“Merlin,” breathed out Lancelot, panting. “Thank you.”

“Sure thing,” Merlin said, breathing hard himself. “What are friends for?”

They rested there for a minute or two before a look of fear crossed Lancelot’s face.

“Gwen,” Lancelot said, standing up straight, and then fell back down.

“What’s wrong?” Merlin asked, fearing the worst.

“I think I’m meant to be dead,” Lancelot said wryly.

Merlin slung his arm under Lancelot’s shoulder and braced him.

“Something must have gone wrong.”

“Don’t blame yourself, Merlin,” Lancelot said, somehow seeing straight into Merlin’s head. “I would rather die than be used by Morgana’s foul magic. Now, how are we to save Gwen?”

“We’re going to prove that the bracelet you gave her was magic. But I need…I need to prove to Arthur that you were a Shade.”

“Think not of saving me, you’ve done that already,” Lancelot said. “You must save Gwen.”

“I’m going to do both,” Merlin said, determined, sick and tired of losing people. “Now, are you up to a little acting? Pretending to be a Shade?”

“Of course.”

“Then I’m going to tell Arthur of my suspicions, then ‘break’ the spell over you and destroy the bracelet.”

“Merlin, there are many holes in that plan.”

“Then I’d best fill them,” Merlin said, removing his arm from around Lancelot. When he let go, Lancelot fell again and Merlin crouched by him, feeling his pulse. It was faded. “We need to get you to Gaius,” he said, worried.

“Do not worry about me,” Lancelot said, staring him down. “Go and concoct your plan. I will do whatever is necessary to participate in your charade. We will save Gwen’s honor.”

Merlin dithered for a moment or two but he knew the best chance to get help for Lancelot was to get him acquitted.

“And yours,” Merlin said, standing and walking toward the door. “Be ready to follow my lead.”

“I will.”

Merlin hesitated outside the door, unsure if he should apprise Gwen of what was happening. He made a quick stop outside of her cell but she wasn’t inside. Fearful, he asked the guards where she was.

“She has been banished,” the guard told him.

“Banished?”

“To return on pain of death.”

Merlin stopped and thought a moment. He decided against going to Gwen’s house where she must surely be packing her things, because if this worked Arthur would bring her back to the castle anyway. And, though he felt bad about it, her remorse was her best defense. So he ran back to Gaius.

“Well?”

“It worked, he’s himself again,” Merlin said, really realizing it for the first time, understanding that his magic had worked the impossible.

“I fear that may be his undoing,” Gaius said, bringing out a heavy tome and letting it hit the table. “It seems that the breaking of the raiser’s hold on a Shade also breaks that person’s hold on the land of the living. Lancelot will die.”

Merlin sank down to the floor, his joy at what he’d done now tainted with a feeling of despair. He’d been so sure he was doing the right thing and now he was struggling not to feel like a murderer again, like he was somehow fated to be the bane of Lancelot.

“You were right, Gaius,” he murmured. “There are always consequences. Is there anything we can do?”

“I’m afraid not,” Gaius said gently. “Lancelot is going to die no matter what we do.”

“Then he shall die with honor,” Merlin said, brushing away a single tear, “protecting the honor of the woman he loves.” Gaius looked at him with his too penetrating gaze, but Merlin didn’t have time for that now. “I need to go to Arthur,” he said, “are we ready for that?”

“I think a simple glamour would suffice to make Lancelot appear as a Shade,” Gaius said, rummaging through his books again. “But it would be dangerous to do magic like that right in front of Arthur.”

“If I have to reveal myself I will,” Merlin said, brushing that aside, ignoring the way Gaius was looking at him. “So, we get Lancelot to look like a Shade, but if there’s a way…can we find some obscure ritual in a book somewhere that’s nonsense but seemingly makes a Shade show its true self? Obviously we can’t use the real one because it requires magic to activate it.”

“I think we could make something like that up,” Gaius said, musing for a moment. He grinned and picked something up from the table. “A circle of salt around a corpse was a frequently held superstition used in the days of the Old Religion. It was supposed to cut the body off from magic. Nonsense of course, but it will have a ring of truth to it in case Arthur gets too suspicious.”

“Perfect,” Merlin said. “You pour the salt and I’ll do the glamour. Then Arthur will see Lancelot didn’t do anything wrong.”

“And what of the bracelet and Gwen?” Gaius asked.

“Give me that book on ancient artifacts,” Merlin said. Gaius handed it to him without question. Merlin set it down and focused on a blank page toward the back. He placed the bracelet and his hand on it and thrust his magic onto the page. He grinned and straightened up. “There, instant verification.”

Gaius picked up the book and read the page before jerking his head around and staring at Merlin.

“The Bracelet of Amorous Intentions?” Gaius read incredulously. “Merlin, that’s utter horse dung. No one could possibly believe in that.”

“The more to be believed since it was actually recorded in a credible historical resource,” Merlin said, winking at him.

“You will be the death of me yet,” Gaius said, muttering as he scanned the entry Merlin had magick-ed into the pages.

“If my destiny is to save Camelot with magic, then I’d best practice,” Merlin said. 

“I’m fairly certain making up silly names was not part of the deal,” Gaius said sternly.

Merlin chuckled, but he was mentally preparing himself for the hardest part of this whole dangerous game.

He had to convince Arthur there was magic involved and get him to give Lancelot and Gwen another hearing. Which had never worked out so well whenever he’d tried it in the past.

He walked the halls trying out openers in his mind. He was worried because Arthur didn’t listen to him at the best of times and was always the most closed minded when he was hurting. And this wound was one of the deepest Merlin had ever seen him receive. He prepared himself for much verbal and possibly physical abuse at the hands of his best friend and King before he reached Arthur’s chambers.

Before he went in he held his hand over the bracelet and murmured a few words. The magic on the bracelet was subtle; it would have to be for Gwen not to realize anything was happening to her until it was too late. The only reason Merlin had been able to sense it so well was because of his magic. And he had had to physically touch it in order to sense its magic. He thrust aside his anxiety about Morgana’s burgeoning powers and concentrated on augmenting the bracelet’s magic so anyone would be overwhelmed by it. He knew it would be the only proof Arthur would accept.

He didn’t knock but went straight in; Arthur was sitting on the end of his bed, moodily staring into nothing. The sheer pain on his face made Merlin’s heart ache.

“Learn to knock, Merlin,” Arthur said, without looking at him. “What is it?”

“I know you won’t want to hear this,” Merlin said, “but you have to.”

“You might be the only idiot I know who uses the word 'have' to a King,” Arthur said. “I’m not in the mood tonight. Get out.”

“No,” Merlin said, bracing himself.

“No?” Arthur said, looking over at him in surprise.

Merlin wasn't usually that curtly disobedient. He normally took a more winded route to insolence.

“I’m sworn to protect you,” Merlin said, “no matter what the danger. My place is at your side even if you don’t want me there.”

“Sometimes I think you think that you’re the one in charge around here,” Arthur said, going back to brooding, “but that would be crazy, right?”

“Whatever you say, Sire,” Merlin said. “Now hear me out.”

“Make it quick, Merlin. I’ve just canceled my wedding; your petty problems are not high on my list of priorities right now.”

“It wasn’t her fault.”

Arthur turned toward him, his face dangerous.

“What?”

“Gwen, it wasn’t her fault. Or Lancelot’s. That’s not Lancelot and Gwen was being controlled by Morgana.”

Arthur’s face softened a fraction.

“Merlin, I know you want to help, but that’s ridiculous. Even my father wasn’t as paranoid about magic as you are. It’s a nice thought, but I can’t…Merlin, I can’t.”

“I know that it hurts,” Merlin said, walking closer slowly. “I know it’s easier to lock yourself away and be wounded than to face truths you’d rather weren’t true.”

“I am facing the truth!” Arthur snapped, standing up. “I’m facing the truth that my knight and friend betrayed me, that the woman I love more than anything in the world would rather be with another man. Exactly what am I hiding from?”

Merlin paused for a second.

“The fact that maybe you were wrong.”

Arthur’s face tightened and Merlin wondered if, for once, he’d gone too far and Arthur would actually hit him in rage.

“Go away, Merlin, if you don’t, you will join Guinevere in her banishment.”

That was the worst thing Arthur could have ever said to him but Merlin ignored it like he always did. Because he had to.

“Gaius and I both saw proof that Lancelot isn’t really Lancelot. He’s a Shade.”

“A what?” Arthur asked, putting his hand to his temple and rubbing it wearily.

“A Shade. He’s being controlled and he’s controlling Gwen.”

“Merlin, you have the most idiotic notions. You’re always telling me these crazy magical theories.”

“And you never listen to me and then bad things happen!” Merlin said, letting his temper get the better of him. “Was Lady Catrina not a troll? Was Gaius not possessed by a goblin? Was Valiant not using magic to win his bouts? Tell me, Sire, did I imagine those things?”

“You’re treading on dangerous ground,” Arthur growled.

“So life as normal then,” Merlin shot back. “Now stop being a wounded prat and listen to me! You can still have Gwen if you’ll just open your thick skull for one second.”

“You have one second before I put you in the stocks for a month,” Arthur said, probably shocked into it more than anything.

“The Shade controlled Gwen with this bracelet,” Merlin said, holding it out.

Arthur eyed it.

“A love token, I didn’t need to see that, Merlin. Any other proof?”

“I went to Gwen and asked her why she would do this,” Merlin said. “She told me she didn’t know. That before he came to see her and gave her this bracelet she didn’t feel any resurgence of her feelings for him. Put the bracelet on, Arthur. I did. And I was convinced.”

Arthur glared at him for a few seconds and Merlin could see hope and fear warring on his face before he finally snatched the bracelet from him and put it on.

“You happy?” he said, after a second before a sudden, strange expression appeared on his face. He looked confused, then happy, then angry, then fearful. He seemed to struggle for a minute and Merlin prepared himself to have to rip the bracelet from him. But Arthur slowly slid it from his wrist and looked at Merlin. “I don’t understand.”

“Let me guess, you started remembering everything wonderful about Lancelot? How he saved your life, how he gave up everything for you? And you wanted to do the same?”

Arthur nodded, still confused. 

“I-I would’ve betrayed myself.”

“Then imagine how Gwen must have felt,” Merlin said softly.

Arthur’s head snapped up and he stared at Merlin for a long moment.

“You’d better be right about this, Merlin,” he said.

“I promise you I am,” Merlin said. “I’ll put myself in the stocks for a month if I’m not.”

“Only the King can put someone in the stocks, Merlin,” Arthur said with a long-suffering air. “Will Gaius confirm your theories?”

“I went to Gaius immediately when I first had my suspicions about Lancelot. We thought the Shade might have been sent to kill you in the tournament but then this happened.”

“You thought there was someone trying to kill me and you just sat back and watched?”

“With every intention of diving in should the need arise,” Merlin said, smiling innocently.

Arthur glared at him.

“It’s your duty to report such things.”

“And that goes so well usually,” Merlin said.

Arthur didn’t seem able to refute the truth of that so he just smacked Merlin upside the head and ordered the guards to bring Lancelot up from his cell and summon Gwen to the throne room.

Gaius joined them on their way there looking at Merlin with a raised eyebrow. Merlin mouthed a ‘what’ to him behind Arthur’s back, but Gaius simply shook his head.

Only Arthur’s most trusted knights were in the throne room when Lancelot was brought in and Merlin just closed his eyes and kept praying that Agravaine wouldn’t return. 

Merlin could see the effort with which Lancelot used to keep walking steadily forward and how relieved he was to sink to his knees before Arthur. Moments later, Gwen was escorted in. She looked inquiringly at Merlin who smiled his most reassuring smile at her before she too sank to her knees before Arthur. Elyan took a step toward her before Leon stopped him with a hand to his chest.

“Get up,” Arthur said dangerously to Gwen. “I already told you I won’t have you kneeling to me.”

She got to her feet and stood resolutely, tears slowly making their way down her already tear-stained face, but she made no sound.

Arthur turned away from her.

“New evidence has been brought to light concerning your crime. Gaius, if you will proceed.”

“Sire, I believe we can prove that this is not the Lancelot we all know, but instead a Shade, a shadow of his former self, controlled by magic.”

Gwen started and looked with horror at the man kneeling beside her.

“Why would you think this man is anything other than what he claims to be?” Arthur asked, pacing and looking, Merlin thought with some trepidation, not unlike Uther.

“Because, my lord, this man was dead. When he returned his story was too fantastical given the circumstances of his death. His behavior was unlike what it had been previously and he had forgotten things he’d once known. Merlin and I researched the probable causes. We were too late to prevent the crime that occurred, but we believe with reasonable assurance that this man is a Shade. If you will allow us, we would like to perform an experiment to prove this.”

“Proceed,” Arthur said with the air of a man indulging a favorite child.

Gaius nodded to Merlin and brought out the bag of salt.

“Salt is a cleansing agent, Sire. It has the ability to cut off magical ties. We shall surround Lancelot with a circle of salt and this should reveal him as he truly is.”

Gaius made a face at Merlin and slowly shook the salt out into a circle around Lancelot who was very pale. Merlin hoped he could last to play his part.

Merlin turned his face away from those present and breathed out words of the Old Religion, picturing the image of the Shade as he had seen it before when he’d performed the true test.

A collective gasp went up from those in the room and Merlin turned back to see Lancelot shimmering with the glamour he’d placed on him.

Gwen stumbled away from him and Arthur moved to catch her before he stopped himself abruptly and Elyan did it instead. Gwen stood with her hands grasping Elyan's arm, his arm around her waist supporting her. She looked at Merlin with mute appeal, but he didn't know how to reassure her.

“What can be done to right this wrong done to my knight?” Arthur asked after an uncomfortable silence settled over the room.

“You can do nothing,” Lancelot said, struggling to his feet and Merlin applauded his improvisation. “I belong to the Lady Morgana and do her will only.”

“What proof have you of this?”

“The proof of my existence and the devotion I have in my heart,” Lancelot said defiantly.

“My lord, if you will allow,” Merlin said, moving forward. Arthur nodded suspiciously. “I saw him with a letter he was going to use to kill himself; I present it to you now for inspection, but be careful of the seal for it is poisonous.”

"This would have been helpful to know beforehand," he hissed at Merlin, but Arthur took the letter and read its contents before handing it to his knights to review.

“This would indeed seem to prove Morgana’s hand in this matter and the true Lancelot’s innocence. But that does not explain why nor does it cleanse away the guilt from the other offender or help to restore Lancelot to himself.”

“I have told you my suspicions and presented my proof concerning Gwen, my lord,” Merlin said, “and I can only believe Morgana did this because she wanted to prevent your marriage. But Gaius and I believe we have a way to not only prove Gwen’s innocence but break the spell over Lancelot.”

“Gaius?” Arthur asked, turning to him.

Gaius looked helplessly at Merlin before turning to Arthur, holding up the book he'd brought with him.

“Merlin suspected Gwen of being enchanted by a bracelet presented to her by the Shade of Lancelot. When he brought it to me I recognized it from this text as the…the…” Gaius glared at Merlin before continuing, “the Bracelet of Amorous Intentions. It is an ancient artifact designed to arouse strong and overwhelming feelings of love and devotion toward the giver of the bracelet to whom it has been magically bound through rituals of dark magic. Once wearing the bracelet a person has no choice but to follow those feelings. This device is insidious most especially because it enhances natural emotion and corrupts it to what amounts to slavery.”

Gwen looked up, as if in hope, her face brighter than it had been, Merlin smiled at her again, but she wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at Arthur.

Arthur looked at Gwen and there was a long moment between them, almost a silent conversation, before Gwen's face darkened and Arthur turned his face away quickly.

“I have experienced this bracelet myself and can testify to its power," he said, his voice husky. "How can its enchantment be broken?”

“Um, it…uh…?” Gaius said, looking to Merlin and raising his eyebrow.

Merlin made an exploding motion with his hands.

“Destroy it,” Gaius said, sounding more like he was asking a question. “With…fire, my lord.”

“Bring a brazier,” Arthur said, looking askance at Gaius and Merlin.

There was an awkward silence in the room as they waited for the fire.

“Sire, you realize my understanding of this matter is theoretical, I trust. You must know this is not magic I am doing,” Gaius said.

“Relieve yourself of any worry of punishment, Gaius,” Arthur said. “We know you are no longer a sorcerer. You are indeed our greatest weapon in the fight against evil enchantments.”

Merlin looked closely at Arthur for using that particular phrasing. Could it be Arthur was once again starting to think of magic itself as simply a force and understanding it was the choices of the wielder that made it either good or evil?

The brazier was set up and Merlin glanced worriedly at Lancelot who looked like he would collapse at any second, he was sweating and shaking. He didn’t seem like he could make it to the end of their charade.

He whispered.

“Ic pe purhhaele pin licsare. Ic pe purhhaele pin licsare.” 

The words of strength and healing flowed out of him and he saw Lancelot stand stronger and look back at him. Merlin smiled encouragingly and tried to communicate with his eyes his intentions.

He glanced around quickly and saw Gwen giving him a strange look, but he didn't think she had seen. He hoped anyway. He nodded to her and she slowly nodded back. Merlin couldn't wait to get this over with; he had never felt so on display before.

“We must throw the bracelet in the fire and it should return Lancelot to his former self and destroy any lingering effects of magic upon Gwen,” Gaius said, sprinkling salt in the fire. “The salt will counteract the magic and enable the flames to melt metal already tested by fire.”

Merlin tried to hide a smile at the disgust in his mentor’s voice at the ludicrous things he was saying. Any true sorcerer would understand immediately they were lying.

Arthur held out his hand over the fire for a moment or two, his hand shaking as if he couldn’t decide he wanted to do this or not, but he finally dropped it in. Merlin stepped behind Gaius and whispered low in his throat, trying to hide his actions and the necessary volume of his voice. Gaius appeared to have a coughing fit just at that moment and Merlin mentally thanked him. 

The fire sparked up high and there was a loud rumbling sound and the metal, though it would not ordinarily be destroyed in such a way, melted under the power of his magic.

Merlin felt drained, like he could sleep for a month after all the magic he’d used today but it was not over yet. He could only hope Lancelot had the strength and wit to do what needed to be done next.

Lancelot did not fail him but convulsed violently and fell to the floor and if Merlin didn’t know better he’d think that the man was being released from some sort of magic. Then he rolled over and slowly got onto his knees again, though he was obviously fading fast.

“My lord, forgive me,” he said, panting.

Arthur knelt before him.

“It was not your fault, Lancelot. Can you tell us how this happened?”

“I am not entirely clear on the details,” Lancelot rasped out. “I remember going into the veil and then I remember waking in a lake with Morgana in front of me. She took me to a hut and gave me food and clothing. She spoke to me, instructing me. She told me how to think and I…believed her. When she deemed the time appropriate she gave me into the care of her follower and he entered me in the tournament so I could make my return. Her follower gave me instructions from her and arranged for you to discover myself and…Guinevere.”

“This follower?” Arthur asked, ignoring Lancelot's pause. “Who was it?”

Lancelot hesitated and Merlin’s heart beat fast for he hardly dared hope this would be the moment that Agravaine’s true loyalties would be revealed. That hadn't even entered into his thoughts when he'd begun this crazy venture. But Lancelot was giving him a gift beyond Merlin's wildest dreams if Arthur would only listen.

“It was…it was Agravaine, Sire. It was your uncle.”

Arthur stood up so fast he nearly toppled over and turned away. All the knights stirred and murmured to themselves. Gwen sighed, long and loud, as if many things were suddenly made clear to her. Only Gaius and Merlin were unmoved. 

“You must be mistaken,” Arthur said in a strangled voice.

“I am sorry, Sire, but I cannot be.”

“Sire,” Merlin said, daring to move forward, “when I visited Lancelot in his cell I saw Agravaine leaving it and then leaving the castle.”

Arthur shot him an anguished look and Merlin would have given anything to not have to do this to his best friend. To make him have to see that one more and his last family member was a traitor.

“Why?” Arthur shot out, turning back to Lancelot. “Do you know why?”

“Only that he wanted your downfall in revenge for his sister’s death. He spoke of it on our journey to Camelot. It was he who gave me the letter instructing me to kill myself. I am- I am sorry.”

Lancelot let out a strangled sound and faltered and Merlin knew the last of his healing spells were leaving and the inevitable was about to happen. He dived forward and caught Lancelot as he fell.

“Gaius, what is happening?” Arthur asked, looking astounded.

“I fear that breaking the hold of the magic that bound him to this earth is correcting the aberrance that brought him here. He is dying.”

“My friend, you have saved me again,” Lancelot said to Merlin and turned his face toward Gwen who was watching these proceedings with a fascinated horror. “Forgive me,” he asked her and then looked to Arthur. “Forgive me.”

Gwen fell to her knees beside him as Arthur also knelt. The knights gathered round, looking anxious at the second fall of one of their brothers.

“You are blameless and the truest knight of all,” Arthur said, his anger seemingly forgotten with grief. “Rest in peace, Sir Lancelot.”

“Forgive me,” Gwen said to him, tears filling her eyes anew, but she did not move to touch him.

“There is…nothing to f-forgive,” Lancelot said and his eyes closed, his breath almost gone.

“Gaius, can nothing be done?” Gwen asked.

“I’m afraid not, Gwen,” Gaius said gently.

“This is all my fault,” she said, backing away from Lancelot’s body, now completely still. “I am to blame.”

“Guinevere,” Arthur said, his voice breaking, and she turned wide eyes on him.

Something in his face must have convinced her it was all right because she launched herself into his arms and he almost fell over.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she said, crying heavily now. “I thought I had betrayed you, I thought I’d done it.”

“I am sorry,” he said, clutching her to him in full presence of all his knights. Merlin supposed the two of them had forgotten anyone else was there. “I doubted you.”

“You saw me, of course you did,” she said.

He pulled back and rested his forehead on hers.

“Forgive me, I felt so angry. I have never been so angry.”

“You had every right to be angry,” she said, kissing him.

He kissed her back and the knights turned away, giving them some privacy. Merlin smiled though he also cried, sitting there with Lancelot’s body in his lap.

"I cannot bear to think of what I said to you," Arthur murmured against her lips.

"I cannot even recall the words," she said, smiling through her tears, "and if I had done that of my own free will, which we both thought- I would have deserved every word."

"No, there is always room for mercy in the heart of a King," he said, brushing the tears from her face. "You taught me that."

"You did show me mercy by not taking my head," she said, leaning her cheek into his hands. It was as if they could not stop touching each other for fear the other would vanish. "More mercy than any other would have done."

Merlin couldn’t look away even though Gaius was nudging him to.

"You deserved much more," Arthur said softly. "I wish I had…but now we will never know that pain again. It hurt- it was very hard to walk out that door."

"I wanted to die as you left," she said, leaning her forehead against his again.

“I love you, Guinevere,” Arthur whispered. “I love you. Will you be my wife?”

“Yes,” she said, “yes, with all my heart. I have never wanted anything else and I never will. I’d wait many more years for the chance.”

“You will only wait a day,” Arthur promised her. “You will be my Queen.”

“Is there any doubt in your heart that I love you?” she asked him, holding his head in her hands, searching his eyes.

Arthur looked at Gwen and slowly smiled. He kissed her cheek, he kissed her forehead, kissed her eyelid, then the corner of her mouth.

“None whatever,” he said and kissed her again.

Gwen’s face was beautiful in its happiness as he kissed her.

“And I will make sure you need never doubt again,” she said.

The two of them were happy for a few more moments before they had to be interrupted by the less than happy results of the trial. Lancelot’s body was carried away by his fellow knights save Elyan who was embracing his sister.

“He must receive a proper burial and tribute this time,” Arthur said, instructing his men. Gwaine nodded and the men left, bearing their fallen comrade. Arthur turned to Elyan and sighed. “Elyan, have guards arrest Lord Agravaine as soon as he returns to Camelot. Bring him here.”

“Yes, my lord,” Elyan said, leaving.

“Guinevere, I do not want you to be here for this,” Arthur said, rubbing her shoulders. “You are tired and spent the night mainly in the cells. Please, go and rest. Merlin, take her to my room. I will come and see you as soon as I have dealt with my uncle.”

“I do not want to leave you,” she said.

“I do not want you to,” he said, lifting her chin, “but I do not want him to say anything against you. This is something I must- I must do alone.”

"You are never alone, Arthur," she promised him.

"Thank you," he said, pressing one last, light kiss on her lips.

She nodded and then kissed his cheek one more time before leaving. Merlin walked after her, but they had barely gone outside the room when she hugged him.

“Thank you, Merlin. This is all your doing.”

“I had to try,” he said, hugging her back and trying not to think about what it would have been like in Camelot without her.

"I cannot believe the change only a few hours can bring," she said. "I am forever in your debt."

"Arthur would have come around," Merlin said confidently.

She shook her head.

"It is the goodness in him that would not have allowed it, I think. Perhaps, in time, he could have forgiven me. He certainly would not have stopped loving me, but I doubt he could trust me again. And that is not the way of a proper marriage or the example a King and Queen must set. And Arthur is King above all else."

Merlin looked at her in wonder. If he thought about it, he would say the same about Arthur. They each knew their sovereign too well. But Gwen's gracious acceptance of such a course, one that would leave her out in the cold, was what truly made her Arthur's equal and perhaps better, made her fit to be Queen.

"I am glad, my lady, it did not come to that," he said, bowing to her.

She blushed and pushed at him.

“I just wish it hadn’t been Lancelot,” she said, her voice sorrowful, as they started walking again. “Such a dishonor for him and such a cruelty to Arthur.”

“It’s over now,” Merlin told her, "and Lancelot's honor is restored."

“I think you had more to do with it than you’re telling,” she said slowly, watching him closely.

He put on his Clueless Merlin Face and looked at her inquisitively.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Meaning I think you’re wonderful and I don’t care and I understand why,” she said, before walking off, leaving him dumbfounded, slightly worried, and awed.

"Gwen?" he asked, catching up to her a few minutes later.

"Not a word, Merlin," she said, putting a finger to his lips. "We are friends and friends understand one another. I do not want to be in a position that makes me lie to Arthur and I know you do not want that either. Just know that despite the evils I have seen, if even half of what I suspect is true, the good far outweighs it. One day I hope the three of us will talk."

"Thank you," Merlin said, tears coming to his eyes. 

He tried to convey the full emotions he was feeling in those two words. He couldn't possibly make her understand what her acceptance meant to him and what her forbearance did for him.

"You had better get back to him," Gwen told him knowingly. "He will have need of you, I think."

"You too. After," he said. 

He saw her safely into Arthur’s room and fetched a maid to attend to her before making his way back to Arthur. Arthur may want to do this alone, but Merlin didn’t see any point in starting to obey him now.

Still, Agravaine was already there when Merlin came back and it was obviously the tail end of the conversation. One Agravaine hadn’t been able to bluff his way out of.

“Why, Uncle? I know you did not love my father, but-”

“I did more than loathe your father, I detested everything he stood for,” Agravaine said and Merlin marveled at the change in the oily, preening way he usually addressed Arthur. “I rejoiced at the opportunity to put an end to him and I did. I placed the instrument of destruction around his neck and rejoiced that I could do the same to you.”

Arthur frowned in confusion.

“What do you mean, the instrument of his destruction?”

“Did you not wonder why the healing spell didn’t work?” Agravaine asked venomously. “Or did you just jump to the automatic conclusion magic was to blame? Well, you were right. But it was the spell already in place on Uther that I put there that made him die and I am glad to take the credit now.”

Merlin considered this the best news he’d heard all day. Maybe the horror of that moment could finally be washed from his mind.

Arthur just looked broken and he turned away from Agravaine.

"And you refuse to reveal to us Morgana's location?"

"I will never betray her!" Agravaine said. "Hers is the only crown I will bow to."

Arthur looked at Merlin and Merlin's heart ached at the pain he could see etched on his friend's face.

Arthur spoke quietly, not looking at his uncle.

“So be it, Uncle. You have confessed and been found guilty of both murder and treason. I sentence you to death.”

Agravaine was pulled screaming from the throne room while Arthur turned to watch resolutely and Merlin approached Arthur cautiously.

“My lord.”

“You knew,” Arthur said, without turning around. “You knew he was doing this.”

“I could not prove it,” Merlin said softly.

“And he was the one, the one who killed my father… How could that be?”

“Gaius and I did find a necklace on Uther’s body. It was a symbol of the Old Religion. We found it odd, but how could we say anything?”

“But if it might have had something to do with his death, how could you not?” Arthur asked, his voice anguished.

“You were very angry then, my lord. And we could prove nothing.”

Arthur simply nodded and Merlin thought that it would be some time before the wounds that had been re-opened, closed again. Yet he was surprised at Arthur's next words.

“Then the old man, the sorcerer, he wasn’t to blame. Not really.”

“I do not think so,” Merlin said, trying to keep the eagerness from his voice. “I believe he only truly wanted to help.”

Arthur looked at him then and Merlin wanted to take a step back at the passion in his eyes.

“I believed him, Merlin, oh, I believed him. If you had seen the look on his face, the emotion when he spoke about magic users being free to live their lives, when he talked about magic being used for good, you would have believed him too.”

“But then you thought he was responsible.”

“Since he was not I must…think about keeping my promise. I must reconsider…everything.”

“I think that will be wise,” Merlin said, hardly daring to believe it, joy threatening to overwhelm him.

Arthur's shoulders slumped as if he had been avoiding a problem and could no longer.

“I shouldn’t have let Agravaine talk me out of suspecting him when I confronted him about betraying our route. He tried to blame Gaius. And when Gaius was kidnapped, that must have been him; he kept pushing me to suspect him. And Gwaine said that he was holding a knife over Gaius when he found him. I let him interrogate Gaius like a common criminal. I have been a fool.”

“Only a man who trusts his family,” Merlin said.

“Then why does this keep happening to me?” Arthur asked, starting to pace. “Is there something about me that makes the people I love want to hurt me?”

“No!” Merlin said fiercely. “You cannot blame yourself for their decisions. Morgana and Agravaine became twisted by their hatred for Uther. You are not your father, you are not to be held responsible for his actions and decisions.”

“But why include me in their hatred for him? Why love me to my face and twist knives in my back? Why can I not see when someone is lying to me?”

Merlin ignored the guilt stabbing through his heart and held out his hands.

“Arthur, you rule with your heart. That is what makes you a better King than your father. That is what sets you apart and makes the people of this land love you. But it also means you treasure the people around you and if they choose to take advantage of that, it simply means you need to be wise and open your eyes a bit more, maybe…listen when people tell you things.”

Arthur barked out a sharp laugh and rolled his eyes.

“You mean, listen to you more.”

“Well…” Merlin said, and pretended to think about it, “I wouldn’t say that, no, no, yes, I would.” Arthur’s mouth quirked up slightly and Merlin became serious again. “I can’t advise you in this, not really. No one is perfect; everyone has the potential to fall. But you can do only do your best, keep your mind open, and not be afraid.”

“Merlin, you’re having one of those rare – very rare, mind you – moments when you’re being wise, aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” Merlin said. “I just think that sometimes people lie to hurt you, sometimes they lie to protect you, sometimes destiny controls us more than we’d like. Some, like yours, have been written. I know the great King you will become. It may not seem like it now; there may be dark days ahead. More people will fail you, even if they do not mean to. But it is not all bad, it will get better. You will learn to see more clearly and not everything will be so confusing. I promise that some day you’ll understand all this. When you have fulfilled your destiny. And I’ll be at your side until you do.”

There was a moment of silence as Arthur drank it all in.

“What a horrible thought,” he said finally.

Merlin grinned.

“Sickens me a bit too,” he said.

“Well, come on then,” Arthur said. “You’ve got preparations to make.”

Merlin started to follow before he stopped.

"What do you mean 'you've?' "

It turned out that most of the wedding had already been set up and not yet taken down. But there was still a lot to do before the day was over.

Merlin spent much of the next few hours running errands and washing clothes and being more of a servant than a warlock, more of a minion than an advisor, but that was okay. He felt tired and used up and emotionally drained after everything that had happened.

He finally dropped into his bed late into the night and slept the sleep of the very tired before he got up way too early to greet the next day.

Three things happened that day and each was emotional and unique in its execution.

The first thing that happened was Lancelot’s funeral. It was a solemn occasion. The only people present were Arthur, Gwen, Merlin, Gaius, Gwaine, Leon, Percival, and Elyan. They traveled by horse to the lake. 

They laid Lancelot's body in a boat and Arthur placed the new sword and cape he’d given to him on his breast. The King stepped back and Merlin rested his hand on Lancelot’s forehead, whispering an ancient blessing. For an instant Lancelot’s skin was warm under his touch and then he turned cold again. Merlin and Gwaine shoved the boat into the water and stepped back to where Arthur and Gwen were holding onto each other. If either of them was uncomfortable at the idea of being at the funeral of a man who had almost divided them, albeit unintentionally, they did not show it; instead they appeared to be united in their grief.

Percival raised his bow and shot a flaming arrow toward the boat. It rose in a graceful arc and Merlin used a little magic to nudge it to land right at the head of the boat where it would cause the boat to instantly burst into flame instead of taking time. Lancelot sailed to his final resting place and Merlin could only be glad that the noblest man he’d ever met was redeemed before the end.

They stood for awhile on the shore before slowly trailing away. Gwen and Arthur went back first, hands tightly wound together. Merlin stayed the longest, eyes blinking fast against the tears that threatened to fall.

The second thing that happened was Agravaine’s execution. That was a slightly larger affair as Arthur had to explain to the people what had happened. He made a halting speech full of heartfelt regret and Merlin could see how moved the people were, more for their King’s grief than for any affection for Agravaine. Agravaine himself was completely transformed, as if the evil that had always lingered beneath the surface of his diplomatic words and careful flattery had exploded into the light for all to see. He spat obscenities at any who looked on him and cursed Arthur’s name with his last breath.

Arthur looked on, face hard as flint, while Gwen stood bravely at his side and Merlin could see him clutching her hand tightly.

Agravaine’s head rolled to the ground and though Merlin felt sick at the sight of it he could not help but be glad that the toxic advice giver under the thrall of Morgana’s evil was now gone forever.

No one lingered on such a scene, but all hastened to their duties and preparations.

The third thing that happened was a wedding and a coronation. It was far far better than the other two events.

Merlin helped a suddenly panicking Arthur get ready and endured a mountain of verbal lashing as Arthur worried about where his ceremonial sword was, and was that a hole in his shirt, and did Merlin know where on earth the knights had got to? 

Merlin endured it all with patience and humor because he was so happy he didn’t have time to be upset. It was his great honor to stand in his best clothes in the front row of the great hall and watch Guinevere and Arthur be joined together.

Geoffrey stood before them and spoke.

“My lords and ladies of Camelot, we are gathered here today to celebrate the ancient rite of hand-fasting, the union of Arthur Pendragon and Guinevere of Camelot. Is it your wish, Arthur, to become one with this woman?”

Arthur’s face was calm and happy.

“It is.”

Is it your wish, Guinevere, to become one with this man?”

“It is,” Gwen said emphatically.

Merlin was the happiest he’d ever been watching the rest of the ritual and then seeing Arthur kiss his new bride and present her before the court. It was a good day. A day that saved the love of his two best friends, allowed him to say goodbye honorably to another one, to rid the kingdom of an evil conspiring against it, and to plant the seed of hope for all magic in Arthur’s heart and mind.

The beautiful words of the ceremony rolled over the hall and it seemed brighter in that moment than Merlin had ever seen it before. In it was all the love and trials shared by the two being joined, all their patience and loyalty that now merged to become a beacon of hope for everyone in Camelot.

But that was not all that moment held for though the two were man and wife, the stage was quickly set for the coronation to make Gwen Queen of Camelot.

She exited and Arthur’s crown was placed upon his head. Gwen entered again, walking down the long aisle, and knelt before her King on the dais. Geoffrey approached with a crown on a pillow. Arthur took the crown from him and held it over her head.

“By the sacred laws vested in me, I crown you, Guinevere, Queen of Camelot.”

He placed the crown upon her head and then raised her to her feet. They exchanged a kiss and Merlin’s grin was so broad it nearly split his face. Arthur turned his Queen to meet her subjects, holding onto her hand, he stepped slightly behind her.

“Long live the Queen!” he proclaimed. 

The shout was taken up by every person in the hall, the largest gathering of the day so far. Merlin himself could barely speak a word until he’d heard everyone else speak the phrase three or four times. Then he joined in with devotion and meaning in every syllable.

“Long live the Queen!”

Then they rejoiced and there was dancing and ale and good food and Merlin was kept hopping with Arthur wandering here, there, and everywhere, visiting everyone in the hall while Merlin tried to keep his lord plied with food and drink.

The knights kept calling for him to join in their merriment and ribbing of Elyan for being the Queen’s brother but he didn’t have the time.

Merlin would have liked nothing better than to fall in bed and sleep for a long while after the celebration had ended but instead he was hurrying about Arthur’s room, making sure the bed was perfect and that there were flowers on every surface and Arthur’s hair was combed in just the right way.

Merlin’s destiny was a very hard one at times, he thought to himself while he caught the fifth shirt flung at him by Arthur.

“Arthur, you’re acting like a little boy meeting her for the first time, what is the problem?”

“Merlin, I’m fairly sure you’ve never been able to even look a woman in the face before so there’s no way you’d understand.”

“Who’s had the time while dancing to your pipe, my lord?” Merlin said, bending down to pick up more clothing and shoving thoughts of half-remembered kisses and embraces in a low-lit tunnel with someone long dead out of his mind.

“I’ll just have to do it for the both of us then, shan’t I?” Arthur said. “Now pick all that up before she gets here!”

“Honestly, you’ve seen her before, she’s cleaned this room countless times, it’s not like there’s that much mystery left. Don’t I recall a certain time when you stepped out for a bath and-“

“Not one more word,” Arthur said viciously, holding his finger about an inch from Merlin’s nose. “That was different. This is our wedding night, Merlin, try to muster up some decorum.”

“Decorum?” Merlin asked, trying to keep a straight face.

“Yes, decorum, respect…feudality.”

“I’m not quite sure you know what that last word is, Arthur.”

Arthur rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be happy to teach you the meaning, but later. Much later if I have anything to say about it.”

“Honestly, my lord, this blushing act is…adorable, really, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about. If there’s anything this whole situation has taught us, it’s that Gwen loves you.”

Arthur dropped to his bed. 

“I know that, Merlin, but so many awful things happened yesterday. And in the past. The things I said to her, the things she’s endured at my hand and my father’s, the long wait. I don’t want the end of the wait to be anything but perfect.”

Merlin swallowed a smile and set his face in a sober expression.

“I’m sure you’re up for the job, Sire. And you know that no matter what, all Gwen wants is to be with you. You can’t change the past, all you can do is make a better future. That’s your destiny, Arthur.”

“Would you stop using that word? I honestly don’t think I can take any more pithy sayings from you today, Merlin,” Arthur said.

“Shall we go back to you trying on clothes like girls at the market?” Merlin suggested.

Arthur lunged for him and Merlin backed away, tripping over the rug, causing both him and Arthur to fall. Arthur got his arm around Merlin in a headlock and they didn’t hear the tentative knock on the door.

A sound like the clearing of a throat interrupted them and they both looked up, Merlin gasping for air, and Arthur shirtless and laughing, at Gwen standing above them with an amused expression on her face.

“Shall I come back?” she asked, quiet humor in her voice.

“No, no, no,” Arthur said, jumping up. Merlin collapsed back on the floor. “Merlin was just leaving, weren’t you, Merlin?”

“Absolutely dying to do so,” Merlin said, struggling to his feet.

Gwen steadied him and he averted his eyes from her dressing gown.

Arthur appeared to have been struck dumb looking at her and Merlin couldn’t blame him.

“Goodnight, Merlin,” she whispered, a blush spreading over her face as Arthur looked her up and down.

“Goodnight, and good luck,” he said, “Arthur’s been preparing for hours.”

He ducked instinctively and missed the pillow flung at his head.

He turned as he closed the door behind him and his last view was of Arthur pulling Gwen into his arms and kissing her neck. When the doors closed he could hear a low chuckle and a high gasping sound and he beat his retreat hastily.

When he got back to his room Gaius looked up from his potions.

“Not a bad day, Merlin.”

“No, Gaius, not a bad one at all,” Merlin said. “But I’m pretty sure I need to sleep for a week after all the magic I've used lately. If I’m lucky Arthur will be occupied just long enough to give me a break.”

“Go to bed, Merlin,” Gaius said, shaking his head indulgently. “Tomorrow you may be needed again.”

Merlin grinned at him and grabbed a piece of bread on his way up to his room. Flinging himself on his bed, he slowly ate, contemplating everything that had happened.

Things were right in a way that they hadn't been in a long time. He felt a renewed grief over Lancelot and worry over Morgana and what she would do next. He felt like he should have been better prepared for her. But Agravaine was now gone and, though he worried about how Arthur was going to deal with that, he knew that having Gwen at his side would be the best cure for Arthur. And they were finally married. Merlin had to smile at the thought. It had been so long.

And Gwen knew about him. She'd figured it out somehow. Though with the amount of magic he'd used, he was surprised everyone in the hall didn't know about him now. Merlin found he didn't mind Gwen knowing, though he was pretty sure Gaius would be horrified when he told him. But Gwen was his true friend, and it was a bit like Lancelot knowing, almost like Lancelot's dying had bequeathed the knowledge to her somehow. And it brought Merlin that one step closer to feeling confident it was the time to tell Arthur.

It would be soon. Very soon. He felt a slight trepidation at the thought as he always did when he thought about it, but this time there was more hope than ever before. He could not keep the secret much longer without truly betraying Arthur's trust in him anyway. Now that Uther was dead and Arthur was a bit more understanding of magic, Merlin felt very hopeful indeed. In fact he was feeling better about, oh, everything, than in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> One of the things that I had loved about the way the show handled the legend was with their telling of the love triangle between Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot. It was obvious Gwen cared for both men, she'd had relationships of a sort with both of them, but never at the same time. There was never a hint of infidelity. I am a hardcore Arwen shipper, but I truly love this version of Lancelot and felt badly for him, but still had nothing to shame the writers for until this episode. At first I was kinda impressed, thinking, 'oh, what a clever way to fit the betrayal into the show without it being an actual betrayal. Merlin will clear it all up and then the only reason we'll think something happened is cause of the distortion of time.' Except no, it didn't happen like that. Gwen was MALIGNED and Lancelot's honor BESMIRCHED! I am so upset about it. No one but Morgana will ever know that Gwen didn't do that of her own free will. Were those her natural feelings? Sure. But she obviously was not giving in to them and didn't have a idea to do so at all. Then I thought that maybe it will all get cleared up in a few episodes, make it suspenseful. And, yeah, they cleared it up, but without ever clearing Gwen's reputation. Both she and Arthur still think she betrayed him. That just makes me so mad. And especially with the little speech he gives Merlin about him not being able to trust her again and I actually thought that was amazing, but the problem is he goes back on it in four episodes, so it meant nothing. If he went back on it because he'd found out she was innocent that would be one thing, but there would have to be a whole lot more between them and time before it would have been right for him to take her back. Not just cause he missed her and was caught up in post-almost death bonding. I could go on about this a lot, but while no one was happier than I when Gwen was finally crowned Queen, I am deeply disappointed in how it happened.
> 
> So I had to write this fixing it and it really was just meant to be a little thing that got Merlin off his ass and fixing things like he's supposed to but then all of a sudden I got to implicate Agravaine and then magic came up and I swear Gwen found out about Merlin without me even knowing how. So, I hope you enjoyed.


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